Why “Gray Divorce” Is on the Rise
Divorce among couples over the age of 50—often referred to as “gray divorce” or “empty nester divorce”—has become increasingly common in recent years. In Massachusetts, many long-married couples are choosing to separate and divorce after their children have grown and moved out. Without the shared responsibilities of parenting, some spouses realize their goals, values, and visions for the future no longer align. While often less emotionally volatile than divorces involving younger families, these later-in-life dissolutions can still carry complex legal and financial implications.
Massachusetts and Long-Term Marriages
Massachusetts family courts consider the length of the marriage as a significant factor in divorce proceedings. In long-term marriages—typically defined as 20 years or more—the court is more inclined to aim for a balanced and stable outcome for both parties. This often means dividing marital assets in a way that reflects not only what each spouse contributed but also what they will need moving forward, especially when retirement is on the horizon or already underway. Inheritances and anticipated inheritances can also be considered in determining how marital assets should be divided. The principle of equitable distribution governs property division in Massachusetts, meaning that the court strives for fairness rather than a strict 50/50 split.
Dividing Property and Retirement Assets
One of the most critical aspects of divorce for empty nesters is the division of property and retirement accounts. Unlike short-term marriages where both parties may still have many working years ahead, spouses in long-term marriages are often nearing or living in retirement, and their ability to rebuild wealth is limited. This makes the division of pensions, 401(k)s, IRAs, and other investment accounts particularly significant. Certain retirement accounts require the Courts to issue a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), allowing for a tax-deferred transfer of retirement benefits to the non-employee spouse.
In addition to retirement funds, other marital property such as the family home, vacation properties, inheritances, or even sentimental items can become points of negotiation. Because couples often build substantial shared equity over decades, it is essential to properly value and categorize all marital property to ensure fair distribution.
Spousal Support in Long-Term Marriages
Alimony—referred to as spousal support—is more commonly awarded in long-term marriages, especially when one spouse has been financially dependent or took on primary caregiving responsibilities during the marriage. Massachusetts law permits different types of alimony depending on the situation. The most common form of alimony is general term alimony. Since 2011, general term alimony has been based on the duration of the marriage. These are known as durational limits. In long-term marriages, alimony generally ends when the Payor reaches their Social Security retirement age, but may be awarded indefinitely (under some circumstances) or until certain conditions are met, such as remarriage or retirement. Cohabitation with a romantic partner can be grounds to suspend or terminate alimony. Courts consider the age, health, income, and future earning potential of both spouses, often aiming to maintain a standard of living similar to what existed during the marriage. The Courts also must consider the need of the spouse requesting alimony and the ability of the other spouse to pay spousal support.
Impact on Adult Children and Family Ties
Even though custody and parenting time are not factors when children are grown, gray divorces still affect the family dynamic. Adult children may feel torn between their parents, especially if there are family businesses, trusts, or inheritances involved. There may also be future caregiving expectations for aging parents, which can create emotional or logistical strain. It’s important for divorcing parents to communicate clearly with their children and to approach the process thoughtfully to avoid creating long-term divisions within the family.
Revisiting Estate Plans and Beneficiaries
After a divorce, especially later in life, it is essential to update all estate planning documents. This includes wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and health care proxies. Beneficiary designations on life insurance policies, bank accounts, annuities, and retirement accounts should also be changed to reflect new intentions. Overlooking this step can lead to significant legal confusion or unintended inheritances. An estate planning attorney can ensure these updates are legally valid and enforceable under Massachusetts law.
Planning for the Next Chapter
Choosing to divorce after decades of marriage is a profound decision. While it can be emotionally and financially challenging, it also represents an opportunity for personal growth and independence in the years ahead. With the guidance of an experienced Massachusetts family law attorney such as Attorney Eric Schutzbank, those considering a gray divorce can navigate the process thoughtfully and emerge with a plan that supports their long-term well-being. If you are considering an empty nester divorce, consult with Attorney Schutzbank who understands the nuances of long-term marriage dissolutions and can help protect your financial and emotional future.
